Irrational Thoughts

When you first learn that you are pregnant, and you are still hiding your precious secret from the world, you do a lot of reading.  It's so fascinating to learn about all of the nuances of your changing mind & body.  But some of the stuff you read is just plain weird.  Like the craving for soap or dirt- also known as pica.  I'm not making this up.  I skipped out on that smorgasbord in favor of pure irrational thinking, which is something these books warn you about. 

It was late summer, and there were a whole string of news stories about how wild animals were ending up in heavily populated areas.  So as I lay down to sleep one evening, my mind began a very elaborate play by play of what would happen if a bear wondered into Chicago and just happened to pop into the gallery for a look around.  Oh I was ready for this bear.  First I would scale across my desk, onto my shelves and finally post myself on the partition  wall in front of my office.  (I'm currently 10 feet in the air, balancing on 5 inches.) Then I would dislodge the track lights, throwing them at the bear until he left.  If that didn't work I was going to start throwing sculptures at him.

This all seems too silly to read, but in my very hormonal brain I was planning a legitimate (and likely necessary) escape scenario.

Come to think of it, before Denver and I were married I had a similar fear of being attacked by a mountain lion during our outdoor wedding ceremony.  I mean, we were in the hills of California, isn't that where all of the mountain lions hang out?  Maybe that whole bear scenario wasn't a result of hormones after all.  It's okay, you can say it, I know what you're thinking. C-r-a-z-y.