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YOU LIE!!!

Denver and I turned the State of the Union address into a drinking game last night. Everytime Pelosi raised her eyebrows we had to take a sip of wine and when Joe Biden chuckled we had to do the same- we ran out of wine far too fast. By the way, how do those camera guys know right when to zoom in on the sleepy politician? I was sort of hoping for Joe Wilson to blurt out another insultory comment, but I'll just have to settle for the President, openly scolding the Supreme Court on national television. Talk about change...but then again, this is the same guy who basically slapped Queen Elizabeth on the back when they met.

Oh, and if you are tired of listening to me rant about the state of the union (get it??), don't you fret. I'm in the process of starting a NEW blog completely devoted to my opinions on the polictical front.

I hear an exotic bird. Helena has taken to rolling her tongue as her primary form of communication. She's like a cat mixed with a cockatoo.

Wine, all mine

Chicago is brimming with BYO restaurants, so Sunday night Denver and I had a date night for the first time in a long while with a favorite bottle of Pinot.

Now, I was a server for a cumulative amount of years and I've dealt with all sorts of scenarios- drunks, people who stiff you, people who stiff you because they are drunk and then come in with their heads hanging the next day. So I know my restaurant protocol and etiquette like anyone else in the service industry would, better even.

Because we brought our own bottle of wine we ordered a round of bubbly to start (good BYO etiquette) and got friendly with the waiter right away.

In hindsight, I think I don't think I liked our waiter from the get go (keep reading). He used words like, "stupid" and "dumb" to describe his favorite entrees. I hate it when people do that.

Anyway, so we have the guy open our bottle and a few minutes later I suggest that Denver offer him a sip. "Great idea," Denver concurs. This is a gracious way of saying, "Sorry we aren't buying a bottle of wine from you this evening."

So we offer the sip and I was sort of imagining that he would take a tiny pour, thank us profusely and leave us alone. Not the case.

He pretty much poured himself a full glass of our wine. It was at least 4 ounces. Denver couldn't get his jaw off the table for the next few minutes. And I wanted to slap the guy across the face. Who does that? In his defense, maybe it was an accident. A very stupid accident.

Off the reservation

When I was growing up I wanted to be a lawyer because I wanted to end all injustices and basically "fix" the world. My mom kindly (and wisely) told me I should probably avoid that field altogether because I would live a tirelessly frustrating existance. My goal was impossible.

Still today, I find myself pouring over the editorial pages shouting out loud, "idiots!" and watching blips of the news and screaming, "morons!" It's easy to criticize in the comfort of your own home.

But there is still something inside me that yearns to make everyone see what I see so clearly. It's not always partisan but my most recent outrage boiled from that source.

I'm currently reading SUPERFreakonomics and there is an interesting section on the rise in crime that erupted in the 60s. There were several facctors but mainly it was the advent of television that proved to be the prime culprit. That's a whole separate blog entry. What caught my attention in this chapter was that the ACLU has been suing jails for years and winning. They win nearly everytime. And what are they suing for? Why for the release of criminals. And why are they suing for that? Well because it's too crowded in those facilities. Heaven forbid that CRIMINALS are uncomfortable.

Is this what we've come to? Everyone gets a break once in a while, but criminals? We're talking about people who have taken the liberty to deprive others of their rights. So we reward them by releasing them early because their rights (why do they have rights again?) are imposed upon by a tight jail cell? Give me a break. Seriously.

So the real kicker is that in areas where the ACLU won and the criminals were released, violent crimes SPIKED as a result. You think? Really? It took a Nobel-worthy economist to figure this out? Helena could've surmised as much.

I'm going to go ahead and posit that all of the ACLU lawyers live in some cush little spot FAR FAR away from the nearest overcrowded prison.

What a bunch of idiots. I'm sorry I had to go down this road but the ACLU had it coming for them. This is my new favorite website.